Which self are we talking about?  We all have different personalities.  A tough boss at work might be a meek servant at home.  You might be calm one minute, and impatient the next.  You can flip in a second.

A footballer in a crowded room can go from talking macho to his friends (grunting and ignoring vowels), to a kneeling high pitched slow talker while talking to a young child, to a polite and upstanding member of the community when talking to their girlfriend’s parents.  All these personas can present themselves in the blink of an eye.

Be yourself?  Which self?

So as a server/seller, you have those multiple personas, and the customer had the same.  Just as a footballer might instinctively ‘work the crowd’ the trick is to match the customer’s persona.

There are many personality profiling tools available, however I believe there are 4 distinct personality types which appear in a service/sales environment.  These could be expanded to be 40, or 400 types, but the point is to recognize that not only are people different, but they can present differently.

Can you imagine yourself being any of these personalities?  Perhaps one dominates, but at times you may fluctuate between them all.

Pounder – Where the transaction is driven by numbers and necessity.

Nurturer – Where the relationship is more important than the transaction.

Follower – Adherence to process is the most important aspect of a transaction.

Independent – Transactions are built on feelings and impression.

The same customer can present these different personalities with every visit.  The server must be aware, and change accordingly – to match the personality style.